Barnes Blog: Five Funny Minutes

Yet another piece of media so funny that I HAD to put it on the blog. I can't help it when it is funny!

Kid Quotes

Mom: "Alex, will you still put your arm around me and tell me that you love me even when you are big?"

Alex: (puts his arm around me) "Mom, I love you even though you are big."

How Sean cries: Wah... Wah... Wah... w...w... Wah? It almost sounds like the cries are individual words. Its pretty cute.

Skiing is my favorite. I like it even more than launching a pencil with the phone cord.

While in Soeul Korea for a few days we wandered about many tourist destinations. We were struggling to keep Alex from running off. We kept telling him that if he runs off he could get kidnapped. At one point Patrick wandered a bit ahead and Alex said. "Daddy, don't wander off. If you do another wife could come and you'd get tookin'!"

Alex: "Mom what color is your pee? Is it pink?"

Me: "No, its yellow."

Alex: "Oh... mine's yellow too."

Carsen: "Let's go kick some butt!"

Raegan: "Let's go kick some butt!"

Alex: "Lets go get some butt!"

Carsen: "No Alex. It's KICK some butt>"

If I had a million dollars my house would have two bathrooms.

Alex: Oh Man!

Me: What's wrong?

Alex: I'm not in love.

Daddy when you kiss mommy do you have fireworks in your heart?

Where is the north star?

(I point it out in the sky)

Look mom there is the right star. And there is the forward star... and there is the back star... ummm... I ran out of stars.

Floss is a jump rope for your teeth.

You know Raegan? She is really pretty. I love her. When I get big- after my mission... I am going to marry her. (Raegan is Alex's four year-old cousin.)

About a Paratrooper

Alex: This is a parachuter... he's a guy who shoots pears.

Alex: I am the money man... cause I bring the money.

Patrick: Than who am I?

Alex: You're a Utah Man.

Alex: Let's Go to a restaurant.

Daddy: Not tonight.

Alex: But there are restaurants everywhere.

When you tickle me it makes me frustrated. When I'm frustrated it means I have a problem.

We had been waiting our turn to get a new drivers license for about 45 minutes in a line of 75-100 people, when Alex loudly let it rip twice. Then he stood up and excitedly announced to everyone, "I FARTED AT THE DMV!"

Mommy: Alex would you like some cheese?

Alex takes a bite: mmm! Mommy that's GONZOLA!!! (Gorgonzola)

Changing Alex's Clothes

Once he was completely naked he ran in front of the full length mirror in our bedroom. He put his hands on his hips and start posing. Then he stared his reflection down and declared, "You are a specter from the gods!" and continued posing. I swear that kid has an alternate personality, there is Alex, and then there is Naked Alex.

At the Grocery Store

Alex: Hi!

Thin Elderly Lady: Hi young man, how old are you?

Alex: I'm two. Are you a skeleton?

Thin Elderly Lady: What? (She looks at me)

Alex: Are you a skeleton?

Patricia: Uhh...

Alex: Look Mommy a Quesadilla moon!

Alex: Daddy, I have a question for you.

Daddy: Oh really? What is it?

Alex: uh... um... I forget.

Daddy: You forgot?

Alex: Yeah, I have no more questions.

One day during lunch

Mommy: Alex where did our basket of calamari go?

Alex: I ate all the octopus's. (fried calamari)

That night we had chicken for dinner, Alex pushed it aside and says...

Alex: Mommy, I would like octopus's or something.

A declaration to all the people in the parking lot

Alex: WE DON'T POOP IN THE STREET! (Why he said this... I have NO idea.)

Alex: Mommy,where is your wife?

Mommy: Oh Alex, I am a wife, and I have a husband. Daddy is my husband. Are you ok?

Alex sniffed and shrugged his shoulders.

Alex: I'm sad, my husband went to work.

Mommy: Alex let's get dressed and then we can run errands ok?

Alex: No! Mommy! No!

Mommy: Alex!... Right now!

Alex: No I don't want to get dressed girls wear dresses, I want to wear pants.

Barnes Blog

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Five Funny Minutes

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